Audaces fortuna juvat

Повторить это снова?-нет.
Есть еще много "но"
а если опять исчезнет,
как исчезло когда-то давно?

А знаешь, так и полгода пройдет.
Может мы и встретимся, скорее обойдет
Может и забудется, как тогда уйдет,
Знаешь, только точно, лето нас найдет.

"Мы скоро увидимся. Я этого жду."
Ты сказал устало, глядя в тишину.
И уже темнеет, я домой иду
Встретиться, то встретимся, но уже в аду.
                                                   

                                                         29.01.2014

Evolution gonna kill us

      People have known a lot for these years in many different directions such as science, history and so on.We create different machines, which in some cases are useless and maybe harmful. We have invented barber for dogs, but we have no idea about cancer medicine. And we still don't know almost anything about human's brain. It has the unique functions to remember much information and to forget at the same time.
     Have we ever been happy of that government which we've chosen? I don't remember. None government will ever satisfy any nation, which don't know what exactly they want.
     Of course, there are people, who really care about the country's destiny, but much of protesters are violent people, who kill and make unrest.
    Yeah, we develop, I don't argue, but in that way we should?

Conceptual

     You live like stuck in labirint, thinking that somewhen you'll get out and all will be okay but it doesn't come. You are thinking about future to escape from the present.
      Go to sleep when you don't want to, get up when you don't want to, go there you don't want to.
Something like this, said Alaska in awesome John Green's book "Looking for Alaska". She was sure that everything is about and something that is important for you today, is going to doesn't matter tomorrow.
      I've heard everywhere that the world stayed more disgusting. It haven't changed. Society changed. They can't find anything good in simple things such as sunset or good weather. Just begin to complain that they are fed up of everything and have no time to live with work or any other conditions. So appears a question. Who keeps you? People who have no aims in life and don't want to do something great in life, have everything.  However they don't pay attention for that like they don't need it. It's offensively. Someone who really cares about future have to feel 7 circles of hell to get a small part of that "everything". Nowadays the most of people stayed indifferent. They have alive bodies but dead souls.
     Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness, Tiredness, Hope, Lust, Love. It's everywhere. It's conceptual. You just can't see it.

An illusion of deception

     All my friends and people who communicate with me fine, claim that know me really good. But I must frustrate you, it's wrong.
     Earlier, I used to suppose, that I know myself already, and after some years I changed my mind. I don't know almost anything. I've heard a lot minds like: "hey, please I know you good enough, I chat with you everyday!" Oh, God, people, you really think that you can learn someone after two-month-chatting him? Please, I try to do it for 15 years but don't know how will behave in majority of situations.
     First think, you know anyone enough to say that or not, do you need it? Аnonimus said: "we born and die alone, everything else is an illusion." It's true guys. Even if you know someone for whole life, you can't be sure that he wouldn't betray you. So it isn't any mark.
     You just can't be sure for anything, of course, but for people especially. We all change every 7 years. Every 7 years we think different, we feel different, we stay different.So what I mean, you can't know already something that changes. And even if someone tells you anything delicate, don't rush, it doesn't mean that that's all true. Everyone has different reasons to hold back the truth.  
     Some people play a role that they knows somebodies perfect, and the others play that it's okay and so it is, But they lie, pretend in the name of what whatsoever. Don't wanna hurt that people by truth or something like that.
     Everyone has his own history and it's his deal: to keep that in secret or to tell. None knows my history. None of you.

The Fault isn't in our stars

         Every night, in my mind appears one question, which I can't ask anybody. Everything is so strange and I'm fed up with this. Why all happened by this way? Why? Why? Why? I have a lot of questions, and I need answers. But none can give them for me.
        The life is a really simple thing. People are complicated. Hey, man, look around. I'm sure that you have what to say surrounding persons. Only we make everything difficult. Only we lie every day. Only we blame in our unfortunatlies. The Fault isn't in or stars, but in our selves.
        Stop to accuse others. I just can't understand why people can't be simply happy. Just freaking happy. During the life you make a lot of mistakes, but not every one could forgive some.
      1/3 Egoism. The main problem. Don't think that your friends will spend all time with you. If You are really close, you should understand that every one need time to relax from each other.
      2/3 Arrogance. Oh, please, you really think that you are better than others? Not in this life. We all are equal. But it depends only in you, will you stand out the crowd or not.
     3/3 One clever man said that there is nothing worse than indifference. And that's true. You are "alive" still you are interesting in something. Especially, when it regards with other people lives.
     Be sure in people surrounding you and remember that everything depends on us.
     Common, guys, it's our century!

An Imperial Affiction (AIA)

Saturday. 1.39 a.m. I am so tired after this difficult day.
Actually, I don't know why I am writing it here. I just...I just recognized, that nothing has sense. And it's true. I had so many disappointments after this small sentence.
    So now, I suppose, I should tell why I think so. Every your worry is for nothing. Someday, when we all will lay in the grave and the tombstones abut our heads, not your education, not your money won't be necessary.
    When you have a lot of plans during simple days, you don't pay attention for things like your feelings. However only this will have a meaning after death. The meaning will you "still live on the Earth" among people, whose destinies you have changed or not.
     Every day you do many things which you, probably, don't like. It's normal. Reality, generally, sucks. But I want you to change your mind about few objects.
    .Just remember that somewhen, it will be never mind. That's all will be never mind. Forget about such things like money. Find out something, that makes you a bit happier. If you don't like someone, say that to him. Don't be scare and don't hesitate. It's your life. There wouldn't be a second chance. So don't worry about aftermath. Conversely, want them. Long life isn't the main, life full for many different event is. If you live long and boring, there isn't any..what? -Certanly, meaning. I am not scared of death. I have seen it. Many times. I only know that I love life. It's funny. But it's really fast.

P.S. I know that majority of you, aren't agree with me, and everyone somewhere deeply inside, keep his own, fragile sense. And, frankly, it's awesome.